幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩

Thumbnail image for Just keep soft play centres closed, plead parents

Just keep soft play centres closed, plead parents

Mums and dads across the UK are praying that the potential lockdown easing on Sunday won’t include the reopening of soft play centres.

Thumbnail image for Man already offended by imaginary criticism of his celebrating VE Day

Man already offended by imaginary criticism of his celebrating VE Day

幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩A man commemorating VE Day has begun the morning by being offended by a variety of imagined criticism of his celebrations.

幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage has been told that if he doesn’t like the laws of this land, then he should go and live somewhere else.

幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩Former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has called on the government to open talks with the coronavirus in order to seek a resolution to the current crisis.

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Sport

Thumbnail image for Premier League announces decision to cancel current season and relegate Liverpool

Premier League announces decision to cancel current season and relegate Liverpool

The Premier League has ended weeks of speculation and uncertainty around the fate of the 2019/2020 Football season this morning, by formally announcing the season will be declared null and void, and current league leaders Liverpool will be relegated.

Politics

Thumbnail image for If you don’t like our laws you should get out of our country, Nigel Farage told

If you don’t like our laws you should get out of our country, Nigel Farage told

幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage has been told that if he doesn’t like the laws of this land, then he should go and live somewhere else.

World

Thumbnail image for Elon Musk wakes from three-day bender hoping he didn’t say anything stupid

Elon Musk wakes from three-day bender hoping he didn’t say anything stupid

Elon Musk has finally come down from being high as a kite for the last three days and expressed a hope he didn’t say anything he might regret whilst off his tits.

Technology

Thumbnail image for Coronavirus tracing app will also monitor your tone of voice, confirms Matt Hancock

Coronavirus tracing app will also monitor your tone of voice, confirms Matt Hancock

The Coronavirus tracing app that is currently being trialled in the Isle of Wight has had a patch installed today that allows the software to also monitor the tone of voice used for any government criticism, it has emerged.

Science

Thumbnail image for Social Media users hold back from judging Prof Neil Ferguson until they’ve seen what books he’s got on his shelves

Social Media users hold back from judging Prof Neil Ferguson until they’ve seen what books he’s got on his shelves

It has been revealed that the scientist behind the advice that led to the UK’s lockdown, Professor Neil Ferguson, has hypocritically broken those rules himself, though social media users are waiting to see what he’s been reading before criticising him.

Education

Thumbnail image for Man happy to do ‘PE with Joe’ with his kids after arrival onscreen of former glamour model Mrs Joe Wicks

Man happy to do ‘PE with Joe’ with his kids after arrival onscreen of former glamour model Mrs Joe Wicks

幸运飞艇拿前三名赌番滩A man has drastically dramatically altered his children’s homeschooling timetable today to include PE with Joe all morning, and all afternoon after stumbling across this mornings session demonstrated by Joe Wicks former glamour model wife, Rosie.

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